


SIC SEMPER VAMPIRIS

by redletters



Category: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
Genre: M/M, Vampire slayer training
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-22
Updated: 2020-08-22
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:08:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26035420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redletters/pseuds/redletters
Summary: It's very difficult for Guillermo to practice being a good vampire slayer with Nandor with everyone else around.
Relationships: Guillermo de la Cruz/Nandor the Relentless
Comments: 6
Kudos: 46
Collections: CAILURE EXCHANGE 2020





	SIC SEMPER VAMPIRIS

**Author's Note:**

> FOR #11

All Guillermo's being was focused on stopping his hand from doing what it wanted to do. 

"Guillermo, no!" Nandor's tone was more exasperated than relentless, although there was a little edge of relentlessness too, just enough to make Guillermo's breath quicken. 

"Sorry, Master," he said. "I won't - I'll be better."

"You have to stab vampire like this, okay?" Nandor tried demonstrating. 

"Master - no - I don't want you to - no!"

They wrestled around the floor, wooden stake flashing.   
  
Nadja watched dispassionately from across the room. "I'm not surprised Gizmo is not good wampire hunter. I remember a _realllly_ good wampire hunter a few hundred years ago, he was so special. We had very good sexy fighting."

"Who was that, my love?" Laszlo adjusted the collar of his velvet cape and sat back, confident in his place in the pantheon of her affections. 

Nadja gestured and shrugged. "That tall man? With the big tall hat, and the beard? He was so nice. Very tall."

"I can't recall, my love. Alexander the Great?"

"No."

"Some kind of circus performer?"

"Noooo."

"Are you sure it was a few hundred years ago - was it not a basketball player with the 1992 Chicago Bulls, my sweeting?"

Nadja waved her hand. "No, no. He was, you know, how you say, the king? The president. He had his luscious big little head shot off." She mimed the shooting. After the twitching, the stillness took longer than expected. "It was so sad."

"Sorry," Guillermo cut in. "Abraham Lincoln. You had sex with _Abraham Lincoln?_ " He looked back and forth between Nadja and the camera. "Wait, why is that the surprising part. Abraham Lincoln was a _vampire hunter?_ "

"Duh!" Laszlo bellowed. "There was a whole documentary about it. Don't you watch television?"

"I... okay," Guillermo said. 

"Rrrrrrrah! Aha!" Nandor said, and pounced on Guillermo, dragged him to the floor. "You see?" Nandor said from above him. "You are a terrible vampire hunter. Never let your attention wander even for a second. I don't want my familiar to be killed in some embarrassed garbage way. You hear that!" he addressed the camera directly. "No killing in an embarrassing way!"

"Okay," Guillermo said. 

"Hey, guys." Their flatmate drifted into the room, smelling of beige.

"Ugh, Colin Robinson," Nandor said. "Read the room when a guy has a boner, OK?"

"Okay," Guillermo said, in a small voice.


End file.
